It’s official, I’m moving back to LA this September.  I recently accepted a job at UCLA to be the new director of a writing program on campus.  I know what you’re thinking, what’s a shepherd like me doing with another full time job?? Judging from my previous post, I was like a shepherd drunk off Redbull—arms-flailing-wings-flapping-fuck-this-conventional-structured-lifestyle-i’m-off-this-shit attitude!  I still mean every word I wrote.  But let’s be real—that post was complete idealism.  It sounds all good and gravy until we bring student loans, rent, living expenses, etc. into the picture.  My parents are refugees, not tru$tfarians, so I still gota make that bread. Embracing this new opportunity in LA is where realism meets my idealism.

I used to tell people all the time, “I hate LA! I’m never moving back!”  I rejected the idea of this job for months before it really grew on me. Now I know the meaning of a blessing in disguise. Throughout life, unexpected opportunities will pop up and I’m learning to never shut one down if it couldn’t hurt to try.  I make loose plans, but I never stick rigid to them.  I have goals and a general direction of where I’d like to be, then I’m open to whatever comes my way.  Change is the only constant, so stay flex, baby.

One of the reasons why I left my last job is because I wanted to focus more on my creative career.  One of the reasons why I accepted my new job is so that I could focus more on my creative career.  The creative industry is booming in Los Angeles, and I see much potential for my growth out there.   I’m looking forward to expanding on my creative projects, building with a team of people in LA and bettering myself as a person. If it sounds like I’m being vague, I probably am.  I’d rather be about it than talk about, so watch out now. :)   I’ve been on crazy hiatus these past few months—just chilling with my head in the clouds as I figure shit out.  Now that my feet has finally hit the ground, I’m ready to make moves.

Everything is a means to an end.  Life won’t always be a clear, straight path; there will be some potholes and detours.  The financial security of my new job is enabling for me to live in LA and pursue my creative goals.  Money is a means for me to make many things all-greater-than-money happen—including my parents’ retirement, rebuilding villages in Vietnam and supporting all the causes I want. This upcoming experience is a means for me to ultimately come back home.

Saying goodbye to my friends and family back home definitely suck big time, but this is far from the end.

I am looking forward to it all.  Thank you for reading.

Love,
Sahra

I got this back in May. If you want to know what it means, read The Alchemist

I love my job.  Who the hell wouldn’t?  I have the best co-workers in the world.  Many of them have seen me grow within the program since I was 15.  Mentors become colleagues become friends become drinking buddies become dance partners become bodyguards become family become blood become everything all in one.  I am blessed.  Going to work everyday feels like chilling with the homies.  My role consists of designing & running the brand new Literacy Program, building social media efforts, mentoring in video/film production, youth development/empowerment and one-on-one counseling in writing, developing the power of thoughts, effective communication & post-graduate planning/senior transition.  Every day I am surrounded by over a hundred fresh, young, bright, talented minds and everyday I am inspired.

I love my job. I am grateful for it.  But I hate structure.  I hate knowing how much my paycheck will only be in 2 weeks.  I hate knowing where I’ll be sitting in three months.  I hate structure telling me where I’ll be and how much I can only achieve.  I’m not dissing anything or any lifestyle.   To each his/her own.  Everyday I’m learning more about the person I am becoming and I freakin’ hate structure. I feel so confined.  I’m a shepherd dammit. There is definitely immense value in stability and financial security. I don’t take it for granted.  But on a personal tip, I’d rather not know where I’ll be in 3 months or how much I’ll be making in 6 months.  I want to believe that possibilities are boundless so maybe I’ll be a millionaire by March and I’ll be chilling on the moon ;)   Who the hell knows and that’s okay to me.  Anything can happen at any moment and I’m open to it.   I trust that as long as I continue to make choices from a genuine, honest place, each move will lead me to another positive place and so on.  As long as I continue to create, to give and take risks, I trust returns will come—whether in the form of money, opportunities or relationships.

As much as I love my job and all the people I’ve met through it, I’ve made the decision to leave Artists For Humanity at the end of the summer.  Maybe in the future I will return for a longer duration.  But for now, I am young and restless and have much to learn/discover in my personal mission.  I cannot stay in one place for too long.  Shepherds gota go where shepherds go. To avoid complacency, safe comfort and becoming compartmentalized in this plastic wrap society, I gota keep it moving.  In the words of Hov, “ON TO THE NEXT ONE.”

I am truly thankful for all the people in my life who continue to support, motivate and inspire me.

I’ll keep you posted on my future plans.  Change is on the horizon.

Love,
Sahra

P.S. This is partly why I’ve been quiet on the radar lately.  I had to clear it with the boss before I could connect with you all.

P.S.S. I am now taking suggestions for cities to crash/relocate.  A couch and water access preferred.

Dear friends, readers and all the people who accidentally landed on my blog,

I realize it’s been over two weeks since my last post.  I apologize for doing such a poor job with the upkeep.  I used to blog it on the daily.  To be honest, I’ve been doing some media detox and feeling the need to retreat within myself.  It’s difficult for me to connect with the outside world right now for a variety of reasons.  I am living in a state of transition.  All good things must come to an end, and all new things have new beginnings.

You can subscribe to my blog on the left to catch random, periodic posts or check back in September 2010.

In the mean time, here’s what’s been on my mind. Sometimes, you just don’t have the words.

Oscar Grant is shot in the back and murdered.  Cop gets off with 2-4 years prison.  It’s like Rodney King all over again.

WATCH:

READ:
Oscar Grant Verdict: Man gets slap on the wrist for murder!

LISTEN:

Download Handcuffs by Native Guns


+++ How the BP Oil spill is hurting the Vietnamese community:

READ:

Shrimpers suffer!

Vietnamese struggle lost in translation

Pineapples are one of my favorite fruits.  They’re kind of like interesting people—eccentric beauty with a tough and sharp exterior that protects a deliciously sweet and tender inside.  SLURP ALERT! THANK YOU Great Creator for blessing us with pineapples!!

How to cut a pineapple—a demo by yours truly:

I’m on a Facebook detox and it feels good!  Facebook was becoming dangerously boring and uninspiring.  I keep going back and forth on this social media networking world, most particularly in the face of my creative career.  Sometimes, I feel like if I don’t do my part, I’ll fall off the edge of the digital galaxy and be forgotten.  Other times, I wish I could be forgotten.  Everywhere in between, I wonder if anyone’s even paying attention.  This detox has given me more time and energy to focus on things that matter to me right now, like my painting, drawing and writing.

I was listening to P. Diddy on the radio the other day, and he was talking about his new acting career.  I haven’t seen much of his acting yet, but these are a few positive things I felt good about after his interview:

1) It is never too late to try something new
Never ever ever TOO late.  The longer you talk about doing something, the “later” it is becoming.  Just do it.

2) It’s okay to try something new even while the whole world is watching
I respect people who can do this.  When you’re new to something or in transition, you’re more vulnerable because the world is quick to criticize you and say you suck!  Even for me, I hate trying anything new while anyone is watching—even amongst my trusted peers and mentors.  It’s always been a problem of mine and I’m learning to be more open.

3) Artists are always evolving.
Change can be a good sign of growth. As artists, and people, we are always evolving.  So it makes sense that our interests, habits and passions change too.  Taking on a different art form just means channeling your creative energy through a different means. I’ve been feeling a lot of this lately—the urge to evolve as an artist.  New things are in store!!

Change is coming, I swear. Watch out now ;)

I’m hella thankful for my time in Los Angeles.  I spent time kicking it with the homies, getting good advice, giving good advice, eating and taking care of bidness.  The days were pivotal and every moment was fulfilling and magical and challenging.  The universe was talking to me heavy, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s another MUST for the Readership Hit List:

I treat The Alchemist like my bible.  I just finished reading it for the second time and all my friends are so damn tired of hearing me make Alchemist references with every other point.  “I said, I JUST WANA BE A SHEPHERD! FREE!” This is my most highly recommended book.  In a nutshell, The Alchemist is a story about pursuing your dreams.  When you want something, the entire universe conspires  to help you achieve it, because people’s dreams come from the soul of the universe.  So when you’re happy, the whole world is happy. “All things are one.”

Janet was also talking to me in LA.  She used to always say, “Do what makes you happy.  The rest will come.”  Wednesday night was my performance tribute to Janet Brown and as stated in my previous post, I was crazy nervous.  I performed a series of three pieces: a letter to Janet (new), a poem written 365 days after Janet’s passing, a poem soon after Janet passed in 2009.  In an effort to avoid my self-deprecating tendencies (awful posture, short mic, poor lighting, awkward inflection, etc.), I’ll just say I was humbled by the standing ovation.  If I could connect people with Janet’s spirit even the slightest bit, then I’m happy.  Plus, I heard hella people cried, and I love making people cry. 8^)

Another highlight of my trip was chilling out at the UCLA Annual JazzReggae Festival:

I was a featured artist in the VIP section, GYEA!  I was torn between chilling in the VIP area waiting for the different artists to arrive so I can meet them, or lying out on the grass in front of the stage.  Sorry Nas and Damian, but I just couldn’t resist that California sun ;) I didn’t get to meet them, but at least I got a tan. Holla.


Me and my east coast squeeze, Anjali


My own tent in the VIP section


One of my personal favorites, “Obama Pride”


Nas & Damian Marley performing

What up fam!  My bad for being off the bloggyblog, but there’s so much going on in Los Angeles I can’t keep up.  So far, it’s been an amazing trip—bombdiggity weather with bombdiggity company.  I love all my Californians!!

I arrived Saturday morning,  settled in at my girl Tiffany’s pad (thanks for letting me crash!!), then got the grubbery on with some delicious lunch she prepared (thanks you Tiffany and Trader Joe’s, y’all make a dope team!!).  After lunch, my first stop was Blick’s art store, where I picked up 8 Montana cans then headed straight to Venice Beach to get my paint on.  We don’t have gorgeous beaches or many legal walls in Boston, so I made sure I hit the Venice Art Walls up while I was here.


Madd windy—look at those leaves fly!!

Don’t be fooled by my outfit, it was cold as shit at Venice Beach!  Sultry summer hasn’t quite hit the coast yet (clearly I missed the memo, damn).  It was windy the whole damn time and the big ass holes in my t-shirt weren’t helping—I had a current running through me.   I painted characters of two of my favorite men (artist/friend/mentor/colleague/bigbro/bodyguard/roaddawg/soothsayer/etc.) SWAT and Problak.  I love these fools so much it’s ridiculous.  These men taught me everything I know about painting and more.  The original sketch had a character of me between them with the middle finger up…but after 4 hours of teeth chattering and blue fingers, I was SO GOOD!  Done and outa there!!  Plus, I was down to my last cap.  Saturday night ended with a bombass sushi dinner and watching Blue Planet and falling asleep to Rupaul’s Drag Race.

Sunday, I hit up my favorite daytime party in Los Angeles: The Do-Over.  Sangria, beer and BBQ!  This is where I had the pleasure of dancing to the grooves of DJ AM before his passing.   I highly recommend it as a spot to check out for anyone in the area.  Sunday night was none other than the LOST SERIES FINALE!!!  I cried so bad.  I won’t throw up any spoilers for people who are still catching up.  I’m not one of those.

Monday night I went to visit Kat Von D’s shop!  I heard she got a waiting list of FOUR YEARS. Cot damn.  That is hella fucking tight.  I’m just thinking about how dope it must be wake up everyday and do exactly what you love…to the point where you got a FOUR YEAR WAITING LIST?!?!  She is the fucking shit!  And an inspiration to me.

As much fun as I’m having here, I have to remind myself that this trip is first and foremost business, vacation is second.  UCLA invited me back to do a tribute to Janet Brown.  The Community Programs Office is the center of student activism and student empowerment on campus—it’s like the rebel headquarters, where I was heavily involved in for all 4 years of UCLA.  The performance is tonight, so I’ve mostly been prepping these past few days.  This will most definitely be the most personal showcase of mine yet—between UCLA homecoming and sharing in honor of my mentor, Janet Brown, I feel a lot of pressure to make it…worthy.  I believe in the power of words, but sometimes words aren’t enough.  How do I convey everything I want to about Janet to people who both know her and have never known her?  This will be far from a “performance”.  I’m not trying to put on a show for anybody.  My most important goal is to connect people in the room with Janet’s spirit.

Wishing everyone a blessed and beautiful day.  More Los Angeles stories coming soon. XO.

I’ve been posting a lot of irrelevant shit lately. Not true. I try to keep it relevant by posting things that pertain to my interests and/or disturbances.  But I’ve been keeping you all out of my head because quite honestly, I’ve been a little out of my head.  I’ve been clicking away less at the keyboard and running my pen more through my notebook.  I’ve been filtering through my thoughts and reflections in the journal so it’s less blabbery and more bloggery here.  So far, I think I’m failing.

In six days I’m hitting the west coast again!!  YEA. I’m going back to the City of Angels for a few performances and this time, I get to stay for a bangin’ TENS days.  OH BOY.  After living in Los Angeles for four years, I love and appreciate it more every day that I’m not there.  You know how the saying goes, “Don’t know what you got til it’s gone!!”  Cot damn.

In prepping for my trip, I’ve been writing/editing/rehearsing and watching a grip of LA INK!! Buck yea. I think in another lifetime I’d wish I was Kat Von D…or at the very least, I’d be a part of her gnarly ass tattoo family.  I think my favorite character on the show is Khoi Nguyen.  He’s Vietnamese!! WHAT UP!  I’m also a fan of Nate Fierro. He just seems like someone I’d get along with.  Let’s see if I come back from this LA trip with a new tattoo. Holla.

The pursuit of happiness is easier said than done.  Going after your dreams takes an incredible amount of faith, confidence and courage.  Sometimes, all the planning and strategizing in the world isn’t enough to secure your dreams.  And that’s the catch-22—”security”.  Some people work one situation trying to get their “dream” situation in order, so that they CAN cross over.  While this may work for some, realizing dreams to the fullest IS that leap of faith.  It is being confident in your talents to trust it will serve you right.  It is having faith to believe in that which you have yet to seen.  It is acting on the courage to risk losing everything, to attain that which you’ve never had.

How do you know you are meant to fly if you never jump?

And I don’t care how good you are, nobody makes it to the top solely on their own.  Whether it’s with the guidance of mentors, money from trust funds, support from community or love from family, we reach our highest selves when we believe in ourselves and when others believe in us too…and in this case, believing is voting!

Help my girl, Ruby Veridiano, achieve her dreams of becoming Alicia Key’s head blogger for I Am A SuperWoman—where she will continue to inspire and uplift women worldwide.  Ruby is a writer, speaker, educator, media personality and my twin soul.

Ruby & I soaking up sunshine above the Hudson River:

For more photos from our adventure, click here.

Just like voting for your next president, you gota make an educated vote!  Don’t just vote for the gorgeous dame because I told you to.  That’s almost some dictator Hitler status.  Voting is simple.  Read Ruby’s blogs here, vote and comment! Take a peek at the other contestants and you tell me who you would want to be Alicia Key’s next head blogger to represent women’s issues and empower young (and old) beauties everywhere.  The male sci-fi writer, the gossip blogger or Ruby?  Hmmmm…ain’t life full of tough ones!!

Arizona has been on some crazy neo-nazi bullshit!  First, it passes anti-immigration law which legalizes and institutionalizes racial profiling and now it wants to ban ethnic studies and teachers with accents from teaching.  Conservative forces are coming hard against the wave of Obama politics. Oh boy, the ruckus kind of excites me…in the most mean muggin’ fist pumpin’ way, of course.  Shit is poppin’ off!

Today concludes my series of “30 Poems, 30 Days” in honor of April being National Poetry Month.  I’ll be real, by the second week I was feeling the strain.  I’m hella relieved this shit is finally over!  Don’t forget that every poem part of this series is a rough first draft off the top daily “poem”.  Some things that came out I liked.  Most things that came out were crap.  I’m looking forward to revisiting all my pieces to go into editing and revision.  I’ll compile them into a “30 Poems, 30 Days” collection somewhere on my blog for easy access.  Now that these daily poems are over, I’m excited to go back to posting better blog posts about shit poppin’ off in my life and all over the world.  Feels like I’ve been holding out on the updates. Coming soooon!!  Thank you for reading.

23 questions

is an accent unamerican?
if there is a fear that students will pick up accents from teachers, does that mean american society condemns those currently speaking with accents?
are those currently speaking with accents then considered less american?
or less patriotic?
or less respectable?
or less citizenesque?
or less human?

why is it a crime to promote ethnic solidarity?
is it a crime to unite on cultural similarities?
is it illegal to celebrate community within diversity?
is it not a natural feeling to connect with those of similar past experiences?
you feel me?
why are people so scared of people coming together on the strength of common ground?
who is scared of who?

if a hundred people lived yesterday, are there not a hundred stories to tell?
a hundred points of views?
a hundred opinions?
a hundred affected?
a hundred affected in a hundred different ways?
but if a hundred people lived yesterday, and only 5 survived,
or only 5 spoke english
or only 5 knew how to write
or only 5 knew how to read
because only 5 were allowed to go to school,
then there would only be 5 stories to survive time,
5 legacies to pass down
and how much information are we missing
to formulate our full understanding of history
if stories of the other 95
are never heard?

is the purpose of history to convince the individual who the enemy is?
to polarize the present and say, if you don’t feel the same way, there is something wrong with you?
or is the purpose of history to present a palette of possibilities
for what the future can be?

On April 30, 1975, the world changed forever.

I hate it when people say things like “Blacklisted” or “the black sheep”…it’s so covertly racist.

But the “Fall of Saigon” a.k.a. “Liberation of Saigon” (choose a side) on April 30, 1975 has become known as “Black April”. 35 years later, like the beautiful phoenix, my community rises from the ash.

I won’t be able to post a longer, better blog entry until later in the day.  In the mean time, I wanted to throw this quick post up to remember the legacy of my family and…… ma peoples!!!

Peep this old photo.  My parents escaped on a boat like this.  We know how to rock the MFN boat!! It’s in my blood.

Janet Brown was my greatest mentor during my time at UCLA.  I met her my freshman year.  I was the front desk intern for the Community Programs Office (CPO) and she was the director of the CPO project, Writing Success Program (WSP).  In my last two years at UCLA, I joined Janet in WSP staff as a Writing Counselor.  We spent countless hours hanging out together in the WSP office, rapping about life, art and annoying college students.  We complained about office politics, paradoxical progressivism and the damn spiral model.  She had snowy white hair and wore denim shirts.  She was my boss but I loved taking care of her like my mom.  I would remind her to work on her novel the way parents remind their kids to eat their peas.  In turn, she would yell at me for not working on my art (I was too busy with too many campus involvements).

Needless to say, Janet has had a profound impact on me as a writer, dreamer and human being.  She had a revolutionary approach to the writing process and to life—both of which I apply and pass on to others every day.  I feel blessed to be endowed with the gift of her wisdom.  She was the first person to help me truly understand death.

After Janet passed, a few friends and I initiated the Janet Brown Scholarship to preserve her legacy and help support students through higher education.  Janet taught me that money is energy.  After this realization, I came to better terms with my role within capitalist society.  It’s okay to want money.  I used to be scared of money because I’ve only witnessed it for its destructive ability.  But money doesn’t have to be evil.  Money is energy, its got transformative powers. Wanting or having a lot of money isn’t selling out—HOW you get there makes the judgment call.  The point of “struggling” isn’t to struggle forever.  Don’t we all want nice things?  Don’t we all deserve nice things? Even more, imagine all the nice things we can do (for others) with money.  Don’t get it twisted: Money is NEVER the goal.  Money is the MEANS, yadidameeeean?

To read more about Janet’s legacy and the scholarship, click here.

I will leave you all now, with words from the legend Janet Brown herself.  This is a letter I found off Janet’s desktop.  We photocopied it and sealed it in envelopes for all her memorial attendees.  If you take the time to answer these simple questions, your life can only get better.


WHAT WOULD JANET SAY?

The following are original words by Janet Brown—left behind on the Writing Success Program’s office computer. Janet showed her students the power in their own thoughts, creativity, and voice to motivate them in their writing and in life. If you went to Janet for answers, she would give you questions. Janet says:

Power Questions

· When am I most naturally myself?
· What is one thing I could stop doing, or start doing, or do differently, starting today, that would improve the quality of my life?
· What is my greatest talent?
· How can I get paid for doing what I love?
· Who are my most inspiring role models? Do I apply their lessons daily?
· How can I best be of service to others?
· What is my heart’s deepest desire?
· What are the greatest obstacles to the fulfillment of my dreams and goals?
· What are the blessings of my life? DO I recount them every day?
· What legacy would I live to leave?

Write drunk. Revise sober.

All values fall within this matrix. That is, to live a happy or productive life all humans need to feel:

Certainty/Comfort
Uncertainty/Variety
Significance
Connection/Love
Growth
Contribution

Improve the quality of your questions

Get rid of –
Why am I so stupid?
Why does this always happen to me?

Problem Solving Questions

1. What is great about this problem?
2. What is not perfect yet?
3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
4. What am I willing to no longer do to make it the way I want it?
5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

The Morning Power Questions
1. What am I happy about in my life right now? What about that makes me happy? How does it make me feel?
2. What am I excited about in my life right now? What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel?
3. What am I proud of in my life right now? What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel?
4. What am I grateful for in my life right now? What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel?
5. What am I enjoying most in my life right now? What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?
6. What am I committed to in my life right now? What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?
7. Who do I love? Who loves me? What about that makes me loving? How does that make me feel?

The Evening Power Questions

1. What have I given today? In what ways have I been a giver today?
2. What did I learn today?
3. How has today added to the quality of my life? How can I use today as an investment in my future?

Finally, some photos from my Cali trip last week.  I’m still tired and swampy, so here’s my trip in a nutshell.

In Los Angeles:


I like to visit colleges


I like to facilitate workshops


I like to teach


I like to eat veggie frittatas


I like to eat vegan crabcakes


I like to eat vegan curry with cucumbers and spinach


I like to empower (Rare Diamonds Women of Color collective @ Pomona College)


I like to yell (Protest for workers’ rights @ Pomona College)


I like to go to museums, like this one: Art, Activism, Access: 40 Years of Ethnic Studies at UCLA


I like to primp


I like to party

and mooore! More than I can blog about. I like to do it all. Thank you to my Los Angeles family for making it all happen with me.  This trip was fulfilling as well as renewing.  I grew a greater appreciation for Cali once I realized that I couldn’t deny the fact that I spent four pivotal years of my growth there.  I reconnected with many old faces and also new ones. It’s amazing seeing my peers grow in their respective directions and deepen their passions.  I hit on all the things I planned to do (above) and also stumbled upon some random adventures—like a pre-Cochella day party with open bar and free food in the back of a skateshop on Melrose.  So LA. But this random ass party really played a metaphor in my head over the weekend that life is full of surprises, and there is much to discover in this world.  So I gota keep things moving. Hello young world, I love you.

Thanks for reading.

Damn, I am one lucky girl.  And that’s only because I got amazing people in my life.  I was just cruising through my Facebook when I came across this Facebook invite and discovered that the homie DJ Marlon Fuentes is throwing me a party this weekend in LA!! At KRESS:

I know what you’re thinking. What the hell?? right? I was thinking the same.  I never considered LA my home.  I will always rep East Coast til the day I die.  But home is also where the heart is.  And damn, I got a lota love for LA.  I never thought I’d say it, but homecoming feels right.

Maaaaddd amped to see all my West Coast peeps.  If you’re in LA, come through! Facebook info here. XOXO.

+ + + Check out Marlon Fuentes of Jakkmode:

One of L.A. rising stars. Known for his sophisticated party rocking abilities and exquisite choices. His list of past events ranges from world class clubs to massive music festivals like the Jazz and Reggae Festival at UCLA w/ Erykah Badu, DeLaSoul, People Under the Stairs, The Clipse, Azymuth, Busta Rhymes, The Game, Airto and Los Amigos Invisibles,. Loves dance music, food and fat bottom girls.

I’ve been so busy prepping for my trip to LA tomorrow that I haven’t been able to write the blog essays I wanted to on the workshop topics I’ll be facilitating this week at Cal Poly Pomona and Pomona College.  The first workshop critically analyzes how stereotypes are USED as a tool of oppression, with a focus on the Model Minority Myth.  The Model Minority Myth was created in an effort to pit Black and Asian communities against each other during civil uprisings of the 1960s.  The second workshop breaks down the intersectionalites of all the ISM’s within systems of power, with a focus on the women of color experience.  I’ll try to get on these essays when I get back!!  It’s going to be a busy busy few days in LA.  And when I say busy, I mean BANANAS!  Between business and pleasure, I’ll try my best to keep y’all posted on the blog as well as my 30 Poems, 30 Days commitment.  Don’t be surprised if you see a string of haikus!

In the mean time, I wanted to leave you with this great essay by one of the founders of CAPSA (Critical API Students for Action, progressive organization I was involved with for 4 years at UCLA).  It reflects on the surge of racial tension on higher ed campuses in California.

Asian Americans: Who’s Side Are You On?

by John Delloro Originally posted on Asian American Action Fund

Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) response to the racial incident at UCSD may foreshadow the fate of race and racism in this nation.

At UCSD, a fraternity mocking Black History month by holding a “Compton Cook-Out” with an invitation steeped in racial stereotypes, the subsequent noose in the library, and the recent KKK hood placed on the head of a statue outside the library has foregrounded the larger issue of declining numbers of black students on the campus (1.6% of the student population). As public outrage grew, some counter the demands of the UCSD Black Student Union with fears of “unqualified” students taking seats from “deserving” students and the specter of the notorious Asian quotas of the nineties, when AAPIs were denied entry because their numbers were considered too high, is resurrected. However, like the frog who has lived his entire life on the bottom of the well and assumes the whole world is the size of the opening above him, they have defined the issue too narrowly and the bigger picture is missing.

The original cry of 1960s was for open admissions and self-determination, not just diversity and achieving a certain number of colored faces. Affirmative action in education was supposed to be about transforming education from a vehicle which mainstreams us into society into a tool for social change and bettering the world. Affirmative action was also about ethnic studies and relevant classes, financial aid, retention programs, and bridging the campus and community divide. To deny a community access to education was to deny them a chance to improve their communities and that education was a right and a necessity for the functioning of a democracy, not the exclusive realm for the few. It was really a case of fighting for a bigger pie, not scrambling over each other for bread crumbs.

Now, racism in the 21st Century is different. Currently, this is the millennium of the Model Minority. In the 1990s, Mari Matsuda described how political opportunists would pit AAPIs against other communities of color as the “good” hard-working minorities. With the election of Barack Obama as US president and the advent of the first Latina on the US Supreme Court in a period where affirmative action has been dismantled on a number of campuses, black and Latina/o students on a university campus now join the ranks of the new model minority despite their small numbers. As for AAPIs, we are still the model minority but have become the tipping point in turning a campus like UCLA for the first time in history to be majority people of color. AAPIs now have to make a decision.

AAPIs must choose to either embrace their history or reject their past. They must decide whether to remember that we as community have rode on the shoulders of African slaves and their descendants across oceans and onto the campus. It was the success of the Civil Rights Movement that forced a nation to re-examine itself and remove the last vestiges of racism in immigration law and pass the 1965 Immigration Act which opened the gates for AAPI immigration. It was the efforts of the Civil Rights Movement and Black Power Movement that forced the doors to education to part for all communities of color to step through which first began with their efforts to fight segregation in schools across the nation. Let us not forget that when Yuji Ichioka coined the term “Asian American” in the 1960s to supplant “Oriental,” it was to signify an alliance with a global Third World movement of all races, not to segregate ourselves—“All Power to the People!”

Mari Matsuda once said that the hymn of the “model minority” was not “We Shall Overcome” but “We Will Not Be Used.” With the Census Bureau projecting that whites will no longer be the numerical majority by 2042 (white children become the minority by 2023), these words become more salient. What happens in majority people of color campuses like UCLA may forecast the promises and challenges of a multiracial nation. The model minority may show us the future of race and racism in this country.

A black minister once told me that his generation, the Civil Rights Generation, was also known as the “Moses” generation and how tragic a blow it was when the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, soon after his mountaintop speech, was killed in 1968. He also said that the generation forty years after them is the Joshua Generation and added that it was not Moses who brought the people into the Promised Land but Joshua. In 2008, after 40 years wandering in the desert, this new generation had enough and elected the first black man to the US presidency. In fact, in places like South Carolina, white and black voters over 30 years of age largely voted along racial lines but the younger generation voted across race for Barack Obama in the Democratic primaries.

A younger generation of AAPIs must now decide our future again. Will AAPIs continue to be a minority fighting for their own selfish interests or will they join the Multiracial Majority who wants self-determination for all people?

Will it be bread crumbs or a bigger pie?

hope

this suit of armor
lets me breathe underwater
vision blurred by the thickness of liquid layers
translucent walls still stand clear
but fear creates fake obstacles
limbs become too stale
to propel through open seas.
like walking through clouds
enter with caution
become engulfed and blinded
only to remember
fog is harmless.

streaks of light
penetrate
i reach for them like
Triton grabs lightning bolts
i reign them in like
Helios riding the golden chariot
i climb them like
Jack on the beanstalk
to get to a magical place.
shooting starbursts
launch forward, break through sea level.

in the open air
this suit of armor
lets me fly.

——————————-

End scene. In other news, I was featured in UCLA’s Daily Bruin today! 50,000 hard copies in circulation. Click below:

It’s true, I’m gearing up for my trip back to the City of Angels this week and I
CAN’T
BE
MORE
AMPED!!

It will be my first time back since I graduated and moved all my accumulated junk of 4 years back to the Bean!!  I love being back on the East Coast, and can’t see myself living in LA ever again.  But damn, I didn’t realize I would miss Cali this much.

Aside from partying all day and all night, I WILL be out there handling some bidness.  Peep game:


1) Solo Exhibition at the Kerckhoff Gallery of UC Los Angeles

Flyer design by Michelle Chu

Yezzir, it’s my Alma Mater!! The UCLA Cultural Affairs Commission has purchased a collection of my printed works.  This is the first permanent collection purchased by the commission and my first collection of art sold to an institution.  So now it’s like my artwork has a permanent home in the 310 area code.  I am heeeella honored to be a part of this historical unveiling.  Check it out if you’re in the area.

Based on the UCLA campus, Cultural Affairs Commission organizes some of the biggest events in the Los Angeles county. Click below to get up to date:


2) SPEAK UP! Event at Cal Poly Pomona




Flyers designed by Trinkel de la Paz of GAS Creative.

I am sooooo excited to be part of this event.  Just look at how flyyy the flyers are!! Speak Up! is a series of events to raise awareness on Asian American issues and empower members of all communities to unite in solidarity, speak up against injustices and actively organize to challenge oppressive systems.

It’s rare to see strong, bold, empowering images of Asian Americans in the media.  That’s why I love these flyers. It’s redefining the mainstream construct and fiercely assertive.  There isn’t necessarily a lack of leadership—just a lack of visibility.  I’m honored to be connecting with some amazing leaders, activists and organizers this week at the event.

I’ll be at Speak Up! doing a workshop on the Model Minority Myth. If you’ve been keeping up with some West Coast higher ed politics, there’s been a surge of racial tension between communities of color on different campuses.  It’s important to remember that the Model Minority Myth was created back in the 1960’s as a tool of oppression to manipulate and divide communities of color; I’ll be revisiting the theory of the Model Minority Myth and connect it with current racial conflicts so that we can rise above the bullshit and progress forward.

+ + For more information on the event and what I’ll be doing there, click here.

+ + To watch a dope promo video for the event, click here.


3) Workshop with Rare Diamonds at Pomona College

I’ll be doing a workshop with a women of color collective, Rare Diamonds.  The workshop will focus on the various ISM’s (sexism, racism, classism, etc.) and understanding the intersectionality of these existences as women of color in American society.  More details and flyer to come!

I’ll keep y’all posted over the next few days as I gear up to leave Wednesday.  Enjoy the weather.  Thank you for reading.

Yesterday, my girl Simone asked me “Sahra, will you join us in 30 poems for 30 days?”

I won’t lie, I was more scared than I had been in a long time.  I froze.  Should I act like I never saw that comment?  Should I act like I was too busy to respond?  I was looking for a way to escape the challenge.  My self doubt always gets the best of me.

Sometimes being scared is the best reason to do something.  This is less a test of my writing consistency, and more a test of my humility.  It’s okay to be human.  Being imperfect is part of the process.

Below are poems #1 & #2:

no fool’s haiku

nomadic packrat
sticks and stones, money and bones
we all turn to dust.

+++

testify

this commitment
makes the covert perfectionist in me
vulnerable.

like relationships.

not enough time to hide
behind rough drafts and revisions

not enough time to plan
the next best thing to say

not enough time to filter
the me you were never meant to see.

scrawls testify
if what i’m writing
is worth reading
fine selections on the bloggyblog
is only part frontin’
this challenge
simple as it may seem
is bigger than my ego.
sing insecure tunes on the page
or the screen
squeeze the littlest of me
out
against my own pride and prejudice
against myself.
not ready for the world
to see the parts of me
that truly suck
call it crap
i will be the first to say it
so i can still say
i beat you.
me.
winner.
if i lose
my ego still wants to win.

if out of 365 days
i feel lucky to find a handful of poems
what if i don’t find anything
in 30?

not enough time to calm
my nerves before exposure.

i wonder when i’ll stop writing about
writing.

Check out my girl Yhinny on TV representing our organization, Artists For Humanity (AFH).  I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it, but I am the Digital Media and Literacy Mentor at AFH, so I help teenagers make videos, gain social media skills and up their writing game in every way.  They like to call me The New Miss Lit and Undercover Meanie (I don’t know where this one came from…).   I’m sure I’m not the only one, but at least for me there is something about artists not liking to talk about their “jobs”, especially if their “jobs” are so removed from their goals as “full time” artists.  But my “job” is so fucking dope that I couldn’t NOT talk about it.  Click here or on the image above to watch the video clip (no embedding options).

So by now, I’m sure many of you have seen Erykah Badu’s new bad ass video where she gets butt-ass naked! BUCK YEA! There’s a lot of interpretative symbolism floating around the blogosphere—primarily the idea of stripping down to fearlessly bare one’s individualism against all societal norms.  I was having a conversation with one of my girls last night about baring your body and she said something like, “Yea, but not YOU Miss Feminist!”  Oh contraire, I must dispel the myth that “feminists” are against flaunting sexuality.  If anything, I am all for sexual liberation.  It just sucks sometimes that a woman’s sexual liberation is oftentimes filtered through the patriarchal framework that can then turn sexual expression into “whoring” or “slutty”.   I recognize the dangers of our society’s superficiality.  As an artist and an intellectual, it’s important for me to legitimize myself through my creative talents, work and words before stripping down.  Brains and beauty before body.  The last thing I want to hear is some bullshit from haters trying to discredit like, “Oh she only got there because of how she looks” or “Oh, it’s because she got that PHOTO up.” Please. I know I can’t control what people think, but I can control what I put out there in this world.  And I will make sure I always produce substantiating work.  Also in recognizing our society’s superficiality, I know how easy it would be for me to claim notoriety through sex and body.  I can wear less clothes, I can smile for the camera. Easy.  But this was never my mission to begin with.  Look at Tila Tequila.  She made a name for herself by exploiting her own body and sexuality, and now she can’t escape this.  Tila wants to make music and make art and even find love—but no one takes her seriously in these industries.  I refuse to fall into that trap.  I want to be influential with my brains not (just) my body.  This is the route I’ve chosen for myself.  Others may choose differently.  All power to them and the pursuit of happiness.

Erykah Badu is a bad ass female.  She got naked and it totally flipped the script—even in a patriarchal society.  She’s also well established as an artist and incredibly respected as a strong woman.  You don’t gota question her motives in taking off her clothes in this situation. So trust me when I say, “I wana get butt naked, too! I do!”  And I absolutely plan on doing so one day.  FOR ALL OF YOU.  That is a quasi promise.  Watch out now.