Essays on the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Future Unwritten: Manifesting Our World Through Words

Below is an article I recently wrote for an online Asian American newsletter. It focuses on the impact of stereotypes in society and our ability as an online community to challenge, diffuse and destroy them. Shifting the paradigm, one blog at a time.

Ever since I understood what a stereotype was, I wanted to destroy it. It became my mission to become the most unstereotyped Asian and become the antithesis of the Model Minority Myth (click the link for the real deal). I also knew I couldn’t be a teenage dirtbag for the rest of my life so I took necessary steps for success. In high school, I was the straight A student, National Honor Society scholar, captain of girl’s varsity volleyball, classical piano player, self-dubbed co-founder of the Recycling Club, two time prom court and the teacher’s lounge favorite topic. Sweet stuff, right? Suffering from social claustrophobia of stereotypenation (I just made that word up), I also became the family problem child, rebel breaking curfew until curfew ceased to exist, a regular in the smokey underground pool halls, fourteen year old with her belly pierced at the illegal alleyway shop, identity thief with the fake I.D. club and the substance abuser depleting brain cells. I thought I was soo cool. Being stereotyped is like being stripped of personalized identity and casted into a completely predictable role. Thus, I never wanted to be figured out. In conjunction with my budding consciousness as a “radical” youth activist with the Coalition for Asian Pacific American Youth, I was the ultimate anti-anti teenager on a mission to shatter all glass ceilings.

From an Asian American perspective, I witness the damage stereotypes cause in American society both internally and externally. Stereotypes are like a plague that contaminate from within then become manifested through actions. When stereotypes are perpetuated, it creates a skewed framework of understanding that then dictates social interaction and institutional decisions. For example, popular stereotypes for Asian Americans include the Model Minority Myth, passivity and the idea that “all Asians have it easy”. This generates ignorance, a lack of understanding for challenges of the Asian American experience and displaces Asian Americans into the margins of invisibility. False perceptions created by stereotypes are ultimately the catalyst behind acts of ignorance such as hate crimes and bullying. The impact of stereotypes becomes exponentially dangerous when it influences policies, laws and resource allocations within major institutions such as education and the government. The kid who said “ching chong” in middle school can very well be your next policy maker.

Stereotypes are exacerbated when interracial interactions are reduced to solely television, movies and mainstream media. If the only Asian person Brad from Alabama knows is the Asian person he sees on T.V., then that is everything Brad knows about Asian people. It’s true, corporate funded mainstream media has the resource and ability to easily reach masses by the millions. Well, remember that song, “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles? A similar revolution is happening with the evolution of our digital world. We have a tendency to describe anything that isn’t T.V. or Hollywood branded as “alternative media”. However, the reality is that the internet and self-produced media is becoming the “new mainstream”. People are tuning into the internet more than television. Yes, the internet has its pitfalls, but the internet is changing the way people interact, engage and understand. Not only is mainstream media losing money, but mainstream media is also losing social value. People are becoming less invested in what television has to offer and more interested in what people online have to say—blogs, Youtube, forums, etc. hold greater weight in influencing mentalities and contribute weight to shifting the paradigm. Dramas and sitcoms have dramatically decreased on T.V. with the surge of “reality” shows—and those aren’t even reality! Stereotypes are challenged and perceptions are shifted with every interaction. For example, developing your own voice online through one of many cyberspace venues creates a gateway for interaction and opportunity to diffuse stereotypes. People don’t need to get extra fancy, profound or overtly revolutionary with their web presence if they don’t want to either. The best way to destroy a stereotype is through diversity. So whether you’re an Asian American sports caster on YouTube or socially conscious blogger, the fact is that the Asian American community is multifaceted; there are assholes everywhere and heroes everywhere. More importantly, there is extraordinary potential in everyone that we mustn’t allow to be inhibited by or contained within stereotypenation. As individuals and as a community, new media outlets allow us complete control over streams of communication with access to a global network. People are tuned in. Perceptions are shifting. Get connected and get ready to change the world through words.

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Oberlin Project pt.2: Asian American Activism & Messiahship

My commissioners for the Oberlin Project insisted I have complete creative freedom leaving me with only one prompt, “What comes to mind when you think about Asian American activism?” This is the question that’s been running around and around in my mind all week through my brainstorm process. The most prominent icons of Asian American activists pop up: Yuri Kochiyama and Ronald Takaki, and maybe Richard Aoki. But damn, what else? Who else? I didn’t want to just throw up the obvious. At the same time, I didn’t want to ignore these figures just because it was “obvious” to me. Many people today have yet to learn about the revolutionary work Kochiyama and Takaki accomplished in their lives. A part of me def wanted to commemorate their legacies for future generations. Project aside, all these thoughts and questions led me to a bigger reflection on the concept of messiahship within the Asian American movement.

Messiah leadership was very present throughout the Civil Rights Movement and Third World Liberation movements (Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Huey Newton, Che Guevara and so on). This was good and bad. At that time, I believe it was necessary for the people of the oppressed to be able to see a real leader rise up in the true nature of their struggles. Seeing a figure from the community speak out about resistance was an embodied manifestation of personal struggles and self-reflection. If we grow up all our lives only seeing and learning about white figureheads, white revolutionaries and white presidents, we associate power with whiteness. For the people to SEE a member of their community be in a leadership position challenging power, well then you know what they say–”Seeing is believing”.

But the problem with messiah leadership is that if you kill the messiah, you kill the movement. The CIA knew this and the people witnessed this. There are many reasons why the Civil Rights Movement and power struggles of the 60s and on fizzled out—one of these is largely due to the fact that major leaders were all assassinated or imprisoned. That’s not to say movements have completely died out. Over the decades, communities continue to organize themselves through a more powerful style of “collective leadership”.

This leads me to my reflection on messiahs within the Asian American Movement (1960s and on)—there aren’t any. There are many reasons for why this is and I won’t try to explain all of them. One of my theories is that the Asian American community is so disperse across ethnicities, generations and issues that it’s been hard to fight on one front at the same time. 4th generation Japanese and/or Chinese Americans may not face the same language/cultural barriers of recent Southeast Asian refugees or immigrants. Asian American issues span from WWII Repatriation and Veterans’ Rights (regarding citizenship) to deportation, gang violence and labor (regarding citizenship AND non-citizenship). I guess you can say the Asian American Movement consists of many movements within one—labor movements, Ethnic Studies movement, student movements, anti-deportation and more.

Another reason why I believe messiahs never rose out of the Asian American Movement is due to cultural reasons. Asian culture and traditions are rooted in very communal and collective values of sacrifice (the idea of shipping parents off to nursing homes in America is APPALLING!). From personal experience within the Asian American organizing community, selflessness and humility have been ingrained in me by my mentors and others around me. EGO KILLS COMMUNITY. We do the work we do out of passion, not obligation—a value of self-determination common from the Black Panther Party’s Ten Point Platform. We learn to always put the community first before the self, so there was no need to claim recognition or praise for anything. All these values have been critical to developing a collective approach to leadership within the Asian American community; but over time, I feel this has created our own layer of invisibility. Members of other communities will never fully recognize the activism that thrives within the Asian American community; thus, our contributions to social change continue to be overshadowed by gross media representations such as the ever-so-notable Model Minority Myth. Invisibility also hurts us internally as well—where members and future generations of the Asian American community fail to recognize other forms of positive role models and representations of the self (Tila Tequila CAN NOT be our most notable “role model”). I believe a balance can be achieved between humility and recognition. We may not need messiahs, but we definitely need more visible, positive role models.

So what do I do? Do I paint Yuri Kochiyama and Ronald Takaki or not? My hesitation comes in the fact that I know there are countless more fighters throughout the struggle and movement whose names and faces we may never recognize, so when I think about “Asian American activism”, I want to highlight this fact; I also want to avoid the pattern of idolizing certain figures into a messiah portrait. But I don’t want to do these leaders injustice either. I recognize the value of seeing a face like yours in a position of powerful influence. Sometimes, because visible Asian American leader figures are so scarce, people are quickly drawn to Kochiyama and Takaki because they are visibly Asian American (and both Japanese American). It’s like celebrity storm shadow!! But they don’t necessarily represent all my issues as a Southeast Asian. Through all of this exploration, I’m beginning to realize that many Asian Americans don’t just see these leaders, but we see ourselves in them. Back to the drawing board.

Oberlin Project: New Blog Series

Enough playing around with Widgets and Flash—I’m heading into production mode again! YEE! As mentioned in my Upcoming Projects post, I was commissioned by Oberlin College (Hellooo OHiiiiiO!) to do a 3×5 feet mixed media painting that “pays homage to and celebrates the Asian American activist community, struggles and experiences.” Oberlin has a rich history and legacy of Asian American activism (I know what you’re thinking—whoda thought the Midwest got down like that!?) But it’s true, Oberlin was recognized as one of the top schoo ls in the nation for its commitment to activism and social change (I helped design the evaluation rubric for this project back in Aug/Sept—no bias because I didn’t vote). Anyways, Oberlin will be flying me out to Ohio on March 6th for the big unveiling; then my piece will be permanently displayed at the Third World House—”a political and cultural residence hall community which serves as an arena for critical analyses and discussion of liberation, self-determination, and combating oppression in the West.” BUUUUCK YEA!

I’m taking anyone who wants to join me on my creative process through this project—from inside the artist’s head to the canvas. Between now and March 6th I will be blogging on my planning, brainstorming, conceptualizing, sketching, painting and execution of this project and tentatively call it the “Oberlin Project”. It starts NOW:

Oberlin Project pt. 1: In My Head

I am extra extra amped about this project simply because it combines some of my greatest passions: ART, ACTIVISM & highlighting the ASIAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY. As a youth-, community-, student- & campus- organizer (each one involves different approaches to organizing) throughout my high school and college years, much of my critical development came through my involvement with community organizing and social activism. It all started with my Anti-Anti, too-cool-for-this-shit attitude and involvement as a youth leader/organizer in the Coalition for Asian Pacific American Youth (don’t sleep on CAPAY. Click here). When I was 18, I chose UCLA and the West Coast because I wanted to learn everything I could about Ethnic Studies, Asian American Studies, community organizing and the ever evolving Asian American Movement alongside growing social movements.

Readership’s Hit List:

We never learn about the Asian American Movement or the uprising of Asian American resistance fighters in history class. This book is definitely essential to every household bookshelf who wants to act like they know anything about anybody. ASK SOMEBODY!! Click the cover art above for Amazon page.

If the recession got you on a tight budget with Amazon, don’t trip. This site is one of the best online resources with critical essays for your enlightened social consciousness. Get familiar:

Click HERE or image above to be directed to the website.

This is what I’ve been doing for the past few days—getting familiar again. I read, I research and I look at images to get inspiration. Oberlin gave me a lot of creative freedom to explore within the subject matter of “Asian American activism”. This is a huge theme to work under. I don’t want my message to be over saturated or cliche. So through my initial brainstorm and research, I’m beginning to narrow my focus on some identifiable symbols within a cohesive message. So far, I’m pretty adamant about avoiding protest scenes, picket signs and pumping fists. This may or may not change. Stay posted.

“Stop being a damn girl.”

How did the word “girl” became associated with such negative connotations of weakness, vulnerability and disapproval?

When my girlfriends become distressed over a guy (or a girl) because they put their hearts on the line and consequently feel pain, and then they beat themselves up for being SO “emotional” or “weak” because they are “totally being a girl” right now, I tell them to STOP. I tell them them they’re not “being a girl”, they are only being HUMAN. This negative connotation of girls is a spin of sexism where we are conditioned to suppress our feelings because embracing them makes us appear “irrational”. Rather, I believe such a reaction exudes incredible strength and beauty because it shows that you are a DEEPLY PASSIONATE person who can still be so in touch with your own feelings. Who wants to be an emotional robot? In terms of that heart on the line business, I commend anyone who is COURAGEOUS enough to take a risk for happiness—even if it means being most vulnerable. Not everybody is willing to take this risk. And although our risk may not always turn out the way we want, I would much rather feel shitty lows and amazing highs than remain an emotional plateau because I always played it in the “safe zone”. How boring would that be?

(Shout out to my San Leandro beauty for inspiring me. You know who you are.)

There is a great article by Eve Ensler (author of Vagina Monologues) who says it better than me here: “Girl Power Can Save The World”

Brown Beats Coakley. WTF Massachusetts?!

Me and B rapping about the results–unedited. If people didn’t fully understand the magnitude of this election–it was the most important election of THE WORLD! What came out of little ‘ole Massachusetts tonight will now go on to affect national and global politics. We have a black president, but people forget that the president DOES NOT have the POWER to pass bills. Anyways, I was watching the post-election news on T.V. while typing so watch out for typos. I started the chat over text message when I asked, “Do you think Brown is setting himself up for President 2012? And the convo goes on… (disregard the time, it’s still set on west coast)

I DO NOT tolerate ignorant bullshit.

This post is inspired by a comment made by Obrienk84@gmail.com to my previous post: Bahamas Chronicles Pt. 2: White Privilege & Entitlement. This comment is so ignorant that I had to break it down for all the readers:

Obrienk84@gmail.com (a.k.a. “Jebus”) says:

“Yes, please continue blaming all your problems on white people. it really puts your brethren on the path to social growth and success. if we are going to racialize all the interactions in society, why are black people so intent on shooting each other and perpetuating broken families? probably white peoples fault too somehow (although other previously vilified minority groups through history have managed to avoid this just fine. See jews and asians for examples)”

1) Yes, please continue blaming all your problems on white people.
Who the fuck did I blame? Nobody. I am simply stating the facts. Race is a social construction created by white people to justify the institution of slavery. Obrienk84’s inference of “blame” is simply a result of his own conscience and defense.

2) It really puts your brethren on the path to social growth and success.
Part of social growth and success is recognizing and acknowledging the reality of our present situation so that we can make conscious steps for the future. Shit is not always pretty. But in order to move forward, we must understand the past and the present. Our past consists of oppression, slavery and a time when only white men had access to education and certain jobs. Despite the fact that we have equal rights now, it is not always an equal opportunity. If we think about race as a race, then the privileged ones of the past have gotten a head start. In your case Obrienk84, part of social growth for you is confronting your own privilege without getting angry and trying to take the heat off my blog.

3) If we are going to racialize all the interactions in society, why are black people so intent on shooting each other and perpetuating broken families? probably white peoples fault too somehow
Gaddam Jebus, that comment is beyond ignorant. Straight up arrogant and very shallow. Let’s try to dig a little deeper and be more “critical” here. I’ll sum up “shooting each other and perpetuating broken families” as the violence, drugs, poverty, etc. that create unstable conditions in these communities. Well for starters, during the 1960s the CIA infiltrated black communities with crack as an effort to dismantle grassroots rising, power struggles and Civil Rights movement. (Kind of like when Britain drugged up China with opium so the British can steal resources). COINTELPRO was a government created agency to infiltrate the Black Panther Party, turn members against each other, instigate assassinations to destabilize the black community and destroy the community empowerment occurring through the Black Power movement. The U.S. Army strategically targets and recruits from low-income communities and communities of color. And the list goes on. Basically Jebus, the unstable conditions you describe as “shooting each other and perpetuating broken families” is a product and remnant of historical oppression and disenfranchisement. And it is very ignorant when people say “that shit’s all in the past we’re in 2010 now”. I understand slavery is over, but we still have a long way to go to stabilize conditions and equalize opportunity for all generations. This includes accepting social responsibility and holding each other accountable to this effort.

4) Although other previously vilified minority groups through history have managed to avoid this just fine. See jews and asians for examples
Wow. Another terrible argument. Race is a social construction and it works in a very simple, yet stupid way: judgment of skin and “passing” with physical features. The reason why Jews have been able to avoid this is very simple: Jews look white. Their social evolution has grouped them into the racially privileged majority because they “pass” with fair skin. As a Vietnamese American, I am so damn tired of when people dub Asians as the “good minority”. This ignorance is a result of the Model Minority Myth–the concept that “All Asians are good minorities because they are quiet and do well in school and don’t cause trouble!” also created by the U.S. government during the 1960s era because they wanted to pit Asians and blacks against each other to thwart the Civil Rights movement and other grassroots movements. Under the umbrella term of “Asian American” there is a wide range of ethnicities–Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Hmong, Khmer, etc. There is a huge difference between the social, cultural, political and historical backgrounds of these ethnic communities–particularly East Asian and Southeast Asian. Some “Asian Americans” have been here for many generations (1800s or earlier)–like the Chinese (Transcontinental Railroad)–and others have been here for 30 years or less (mostly the Southeast Asian refugee community from the Vietnam War [1959-1975] and Khmer Rouge [1975-1979]). The Southeast Asian community in the U.S., being such a young and recent community in the U.S., face social, cultural and language barriers that are often overlooked. The Southeast Asian community (my community) is still struggling with high poverty rates, gang violence, drugs, low retention rates and limited access to higher education. So no, we are not doing “just fine”. But we are still gangsta as shit.

In Conclusion

I am very open to people challenging my views or thoughts—-because I do not know everything about this world and I choose to learn and grow everyday. So I invite you all to help me expand my understanding of things. But I DO NOT tolerate ignorant bullshit. So if you step to me, you better come correct or I will tear your point to pieces just to make a BETTER motherfucking point than yours. I do this to affirm my views, but also to enlighten all others who may be reading. If anything I wrote above is new or interesting to you, I encourage you to continue your own research and understanding. There is a lot of information out there—-get educated. I’m only offering a snippet.

Another part of white privilege is that they are not used to being challenged in this way. GET USED TO IT.

In Closing

If anything good came out of Obrienk84’s ignorant comment, it is HELLA TRAFFIC to my blog! Word up! Thanks for that. Most of all, thank you to everyone who commented on that post and contributed their insight. Hella appreciated. Spread the knowledge. Thanks for reading.

Bahamas Wrap-Up & Photos

I’ve been talking a lot of shit lately. If you caught my Bahamas Chronicles Pt. 1, 2 & 3, you’d know (i.e. recession, white privilege, slavery, etc.). If you missed it, they are posted under recent posts or category “Essays on the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It’s good to keep a critical eye in life. Sometimes I can’t “turn it off” (The Matrix). But life isn’t worth living if you’re not enjoying it. So while I’ve tried to offer readers a critical perspective on my trip to the Bahamas, I gota share some of the beauty of the Bahamas as well.

I think my favorite experience in the Bahamas was Junkanoo. Junkanoo happens every year during Boxing Day and New Years Day. It is a huge 10 hour (yes, TEN HOURS!) parade where teams compete in best theme, music composition, dance, float and costume. It’s the biggest event of the year and teams spend over 6 months preparing. Everything they created was absolutely beautiful, breathtaking and took my imagination to a whole new level. Junkanoo is a true testament to the Bahamian people’s talent, creativity and lively spirit. Watch Junkanoo clips I took:

A few snapshots from my trip:

This bridge connected the two main islands, Nassau and Paradise Island.

Coconut tree makes…

Coconut drink. This stuff is magic.

Bahamian specialty: Conch Salad and conch everything.

Conch fritters and lobster fritters. Watch me eat.

Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of the conch. MY shit was the PEAS & RICE!!! SO BOMB. Don’t judge a book by its cover. I ate PEAS & RICE all day.

I’m waiting for the Kool-Aid guy to bust out of the wall any moment now.
Remember when I said I wanted the Instax camera for x-mas?? I didn’t get it. MY SISTER did tho!

Warmth.

Golden. Bye bye Bahamas!

Bahamas Chronicles Pt.3: From Slavery to Servitude

I don’t plan anything on these family trips. I just show up. As we’re pulling up to the hotel, I ask my sister, “Where are we staying?” She says, “The British Colonial Hilton”. AW SHIIIIIIT. And it starts.

Bahamas was first colonized by the Spanish Empire. Next came the British colonists who settled and brought with them African slaves and forced agricultural labor. For the rest of the trip I keep getting flashes of slavery and remnants of British colonialism. WTF. In my Bahamas Chronicles Pt. 2, I talked about White Privilege and Entitlement. As a vacationer from the “First World” (America) in a less developed country, I also have a degree of privilege that brings me to be conscious of my imposing presence on the island. How do I enjoy the Bahamas without appropriating or offending the native culture? If tourism is the Bahamas’ #1 industry, is commodification of culture inevitable?

TOURISM is the country’s #1 industry—which means it is a predominantly service-oriented country. That means the most you can do IN the country is enter the tourism industry and reap the economic benefits. That means little Bahamian boys and girls grow up and enter the tourism industry to SERVE MY ASS?! Damn, the Bahamian people must hate me. And other tourists like me. Damn, I suck for being here. Damn, the British HELLA SUCK for being here way before me and fucking everything up!

Shit was tripping me out. I was riding the ferry and the tour guide was like, “Thank you so0o0o much for making the Bahamas your destination. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have a job, and the captain wouldn’t have a job. So thank you so0o0 much for visiting and we hope you come back again soon!” Damn, really? Of course not. Nobody wants to serve other people. It’s a catch-22 in many ways. Colonialism and slavery got the country stuck in an economic cycle of servitude. So what do you do? Visit the country—help them economically but hurt them culturally, socially and perpetuate the cycle of servitude? Or don’t visit the country out of principle and end up hurting their #1 industry? Millions of foreigners come in and out of the country, throw some money around, have the natives serve them and enjoy the land in ways many natives can’t even enjoy themselves. The best beaches in the Bahamas are privatized for resorts, clubs and hotels. So the Bahamian people don’t even have access to Bahamian beaches?! Shit.

Who’s world are we living in now?

I don’t have answers to these questions. All I know is that I got slavery on my mind when I’m trying to get my tan on. I wish I wasn’t. When it comes down to it, part of my privilege is NOT trying to figure what’s best for the Bahamian people. As privileged people, don’t let your “guilt” be an excuse to try to “be the savior” (I think we’ve seen enough of these types in Hollywood movies where the white person comes to the rescue). Whether they want tourism to thrive or a social revolution, that is for the Bahamian people to decide.

P.S. Oh yea, I’ll post some half-naked pictures of me and Bahamian conch delicacies tomorrow.

Bahamas Chronicle Pt. 2: White Privilege and Entitlement

Whenever I travel, my biggest and most commonly encountered pet peeve is PEOPLE who THINK they are BETTER than everyone else and thus DESERVE to take it all. 99% of the time this occurs with white people. Throughout history, the process of racialization has positioned white people in a position of power at the expense of all other racial groups (colonization, CEO’s, 43 U.S. Presidents, etc.). With this positioning comes the inherence of White Privilege–an advantage in life (from skin colored band-aids to employment). Because white people experience life with such privilege, they exude an air of entitlement. Some people are conscious of it. Most are not. Let us dissect:

Example A:
I am proceeding through the security lines and the guards have us mesh lines. A little girl (roughly 15 years) rushes to the front (entitlement) with her dad and brother lagging (they were dragging her Louis Vuitton luggage along). I end up behind her. She slightly pushes me aside and viciously screams, “LET MY DADDY THROUGH!” …OH DANG?? FOREAL?? I am brewing inside but stay calm. The last time I went off on a white guy in the airport (WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?? MOTHERFUCKER DON’T TELL ME TO APOLOGIZE! WHO THE FUCK DID I CUT?? WHO?? FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER) I nearly got thrown out by security. Yes, it was bad–and I had every right to be upset but that is another story. Anyways, if only you could hear the nasty in “LET MY DADDY THROUGH!” and the evil in her eyes. Only four words–but they scream so much about her white privilege and sense of entitlement. Her TONE was completely commanding–clearly, this little white girl with LV luggage is used to getting whatever she wants. With her nasty, commanding tone, she immediately framed me in a position of inferiority, where being courteous becomes fulfilling a demand. Her words carry entitlement and the tone of demand asserts (maintaining) power. Just think about how much of a difference “Can you please let my daddy come through?” would’ve made. In this case, the power would shift to me because the one making the request (girl) is at the decision maker’s (me) will. But when entitlement takes on a tone of command, it strips the option of choice for the person (me). Of course, we always have a choice. If in her case she said “LET MY DADDY THROUGH!” and by choice I said “NO”, well I would just end up looking like the bitch–thus another good girl gone antagonized. Lose-lose situation.

Example B:
I find my seat on the plane. A white lady traveling with her family finds her seat near mine and the first thing she says TO ME is, “WE’RE GONA HAVE TO SWITCH SEATS.” …IS THAT RIGHT?!?!!? BITCH YOU FOR REAL?? I’m still brewing from the Louis Vuitton luggage girl so you can only imagine how heated I was with this bullshit. But here we go again. Another case of white privilege where the woman thinks she is ENTITLED to my seat! Again with the tone–commanding and quickly assuming that the request (to have my seat) is a “RIGHT”. I roll my eyes and end up staying in my seat. Throughout the flight I notice that she’s actually kind of a warm lady who loves her kids and grand kids. But the thing about white privilege is that it is so inherent we forget it is there. The entitlement is a product of their life’s experiences knowing a sense of privilege and advantage over most things. Because much of this inherence comes up as subconscious, I’m not saying all white people are so “nasty and malicious” in these situations. But just because something is subconscious does not excuse our responsibility for our actions. Part of social responsibility is committing to stay conscious.

How to shoot them down:
I have a very bad temper and zero tolerance for this bullshit–so I am quick to explode. But honestly, after enough encounters and eruptions, I realized that the best way to SHOOT THEM DOWN is to NOT SHOOT YOURSELF down. Don’t forget that if they have white privilege (and you are not white), then you do NOT have the advantage in the situation. I have never been wrong! But most of the time I end up looking like the crazy bitch. My advice: equilibrium–MATCH their tone. If you explode (as I often do), your aggression is above theirs (unequal). If you play passive, you will be beneath them (STAND UP FOR YOURSELF DAMMIT!). So match their tone to equalize, then calmly put them in their place.

I just got Twitter & I'm scared…kinda not really.

There was a time when I said, “I will NEVER get Twitter. FUCK THAT SHIT.”

Damn, times change and another reason why “Never say never” is the truest form of contradiction.

I’ve always been a little scared of technology and the WWW. I’ve been called a “cave woman” before. I felt that rapid technological advancements:

1) warped social evolution to go backwards (less talking, more typing..byebye touchy feely face).

2) dramatically developed a strange 6th human sense: HUNGER for FAME (Vanity strikes the YouTube revolution…the self-telecast, self-made, self-proclaimed celebrity.)

3) resulted in the subconscious surrender of human privacy.

All this was scary to me and I didn’t want to be part of it. I don’t always like talking about myself, I just want the product to speak for itself. On top of everything, if any of you caught “My Very Honest Post”, you’d know that I was victim to a very serious, schizophrenic and delusional stalker (literally). I still am, because that MFer never got put away. So I take privacy, trust and personal space are all very seriously. For a good chunk of time, I was in hiding–from the stalker, from everyone around me, from my family, from the world, from myself. I won’t divulge too much because I know the stalker is reading. But anyways, back to technology and the voluntary surrender of privacy, people are starting to give up their personal information, then their photos, NOW, even all their THOUGHTS. It was disturbing to me. We used to complain about the Patriot Act and the U.S. government fucking with all our privacy rights; now, the government doesn’t even have to try to be all up in our business. We willingly give it up without knowing how much of ourselves we are exposing.

I STILL am a very private and reserved person. To be an artist, I need to put myself and my work out there if I want to reach as many people as possible. It’s a twisted dilemma. As I come out of “my cave” and away from “hiding”, I’m learning how to trust the world again. I absolutely DO want to be connected with the world. That’s the beautiful thing about technology. I’m understanding how to function in my role as a grounded human being in this technologically advancing world. I just don’t want to lose myself in the digital vortex.

So “Follow Me” but not really… twitter.com/ThisFirstLady

I told myself I wouldn't post about Tiger Woods,

That I wouldn’t join the thousands of ruthless indulgers in sex-crazed America to throw in their two cents about Tiger Woods’ private affairs. I’m in no position to dissect Tigers’ marriage issues, but at the very least, I can say sumthin’ about the wild reactions that have since ensued.

Everybody wants a piece of Tiger. Whether what Tiger did was right or wrong, Tiger Woods is known for being an amazing GOLFER, not an amazing husband. I’m in no way condoning or excusing him, I’m just saying, you can be the best golfer in the world and still be a dirtbag. There’s no stated correlation between athletic ability and marital morals. Even though I believe what he did is fucked up, I still believe in the right to privacy.

Tiger Woods getting caught cheating affected people in 3 different ways:

1) He lost fans.
2) He gained fans.
3) Did not matter.

Some (heterosexual) women are thinking, “Ugh. MEN. Typical.” Another reason why we can’t trust them. Even nice guys are dogs.

Some women are thinking, “Damn, Tiger. Can I holla?”

Some (heterosexual) men are thinking, “Damn, Tiger ruined it for the male species. He just made it harder for the rest of us to get with women (such as the ones quoted above).”

Some guys are thinking, “Damn, Tiger. Elin is HOT! You idiot.”

Amidst all the reactions, there is one common factor: DISAPPOINTMENT. For me, the most disappointing thing about the disappointment expressed is hearing about how many men are NOT disappointed in the fact that Tiger CHEATED, they are disappointed in the fact that Tiger GOT CAUGHT.

“Tiger got CAUGHT. And THAT’s where he fucked up.”

WTF?

This implies that it is acceptable for men to cheat on their wives as long as they don’t get caught. I’m not judging polygamy. If people want to have multiple partners, they should join a polygamous society and/or NOT get married. But in the context of American society, a sexist culture promotes the narrow view of manhood as being misogynist, macho and dominant. We raise boys to believe that being men means it’s acceptable to devalue women. Preserving the male ego means exerting dominance over women. Many men would argue that this is inherent and part of biology. I won’t go into arguing the entire sociological standpoint of how people are conditioned to play out gender roles, but I think we could agree that babies are innocent. Everybody is born into this world with a clean slate of mannerisms and behavioral habits. Those things are taught and learned, not inherent. SpikeTV is an example of the macho teacher. As a woman in this society, I think men forget how their words and actions can make a women feel devalued, disposable and disrespected. Some men think women like it. Maybe some women “do”. Or maybe that is also part of the female gender role conditioning to accept objectification because that understanding is correlated with male dominance and desirability. Like many things, it’s a vicious cycle. But if the root of our problems are socially constructed, then we can most definitely do some social reconstructioning. Holla.

When Globalization Hits Home

Globalization has declared a war on diversity by setting a universal standard of living. The process has most of the world convinced that the capitalist way is the “best” way. For nations to gain international leverage, they must enter the race to modernize society. In essence, the reality of globalization results in standardizing all aspects of culture–language, customs, traditions, food, production, manufacturing, etc. When we see field workers drop their pitchforks and take up jobs at the nearest McDonalds–that is a product of globalization. When we see a street vendor sell rice plates for 50 cents outside a newly erected Louis Vuitton store–that is a product of globalization. When we see indigenous mountain people sell souvenirs to tourists for a living–that is a product of globalization. While the process of globalization standardizes, modernizes and quickly transforms a nation’s economic landscape, it inevitably widens the disparity between the rich and the poor at exponential rates.

There was a point in time when my dad’s family and my mom’s family were in the same economic class–DIRT POOR. I remember visiting both sides (Dad’s family in the North, Mom’s family in the South) and it was always everybody packed into a one room “home” with rice, salt and potatoes for sparse meals. By the end of the Vietnam War, most of the country was so fragmented and ravaged there were only 2 social strata: the impoverished and the ruling. In 2007, Vietnam finally joined the WTO (World Trade Organization) and made a significant shift toward an OPEN MARKET ECONOMY–which basically means they’re opening their doors to compete in the global economy, which basically means more standardizing, more mechanizing, more modernizing, more skyscrapers, more condos, more business suits, more wireless networking, more conference calls and more westernizing. This is a race, so you can either get with it or get left behind. But the reality is, some people can’t even run the race if they wanted to.

Being in the city (and capital, Hanoi), my dad’s side of the family still had the chance to go to school and pursue an education. Most of my dad’s siblings went into finance, marketing and business. With the booming open market, some quickly went from rags to riches (my aunt even got her own chauffeur!!). My dad’s family are part of the lucky few who entered the finance market at a good time–when it was rapidly on the rise and they got pulled up as quickly as they entered. Like stock markets, trading and closing deals–timing is everything.

My mom’s side of the family is less fortunate. They are stuck in the cycle of poverty which they’ll probably never escape. As a small fishing village, education was less accessible. When boys become men, they head out to sea and become fishermen. Girls find little ways to make money, like washing hair, bartering at the market or selling lottery tickets. That small fishing village my mom grew up in has not changed. Some of her siblings are still living in the same dainty shacks made of the same wood planks and metal sheets I remember visiting as a child. I’m surprised the homes haven’t collapsed under the water yet. Everyone is begging for a way out of poverty. My female cousins keep pleading me to find them American husbands that can marry them out of the cycle. Now, after all these years, the government is kicking everyone out of my mom’s fishing village because they want to build a resort for tourists. The villagers have no mode of transportation, no savings to buy land and no money to build a new home. Tourism, capital and resorts are all a result of globalization, which in turn makes the economy better, but makes the poor just damn pointless.

(This is actually the “nicer” part of the village. My aunt’s shack is on wooden stilts above the water. And the public toilet is like a high dock on poles. You squat above a hole in the dock that drops all your crap into the ocean beneath your stankin’ ass.)

With a Bachelor of Arts from UCLA, I’ve studied and theorized globalization from many angles. But I can’t even find the words to describe how I feel when I actually WITNESS the impact of it in my polarized family. North vs. South. City vs. village. Rich vs. poor. They say that those who flourish within capitalism can only profit at the expense of fucking over another entity. If there is a winner, somebody’s got to lose. So within economic politics, is the reason for my dad’s side becoming richer part of the reason that contributes to my mom’s side being fucked over?

Refugee Romeo & Juliet: I WAS BORN

I’m starting a new category. It’s going to be somewhere between critical essays on race, class, gender, sexuality, global ish and the good, the bad, the ugly in my eyes.

There are many layers when talking about the Vietnam War. So let me break the entities down for you:

The Colonizers = French (Outsiders)
The Anti-Imperialist Revolutionaries = North Vietnam (Insiders)
The Anti-Communist Revolutionaries = South Vietnam (Insiders)
The Nosy MFerz with the Personal Agenda = United States (Outsiders)

North Vietnamese revolutionary leader, Ho Chi Minh, finally kicked the French out, claiming Vietnamese independence for the first time in over 1000 years. After so many years of fragmented colonization, he wanted to unite all of Vietnam under one vision–Communism. But South Vietnam wanted to do their own thing, so they became more of the underdawg radicals, waging a guerilla war against the North. The U.S. got involved, fighting on the side of the “South” but since they couldn’t tell North Vietnamese apart from South Vietnamese, they ended up murdering anyone and everyone who looked Asian. To this day, the world still questions why the U.S. got involved and what they were fighting for–and no one will give you a good reason because there isn’t one. But international supporters like Che Guevara, Black Panther Party, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, African nations, Third World Nations, the working class and revolutionaries alike outspokenly stood in solidarity with Vietnam against U.S. and their aggressive, imperialist, suckiest agenda. Basically, looking at internal affairs, the Vietnam War was a war between one set of Revolutionaries against another set of Revolutionaries. The North and the South did not get along. It was an onslaught of radicals, militants, guerilla fighters and working people against their mirrored selves. Everybody wanted independence, but freedom looked different to different people.

My pops was a city boy from the North, one of 7 children. After the North Vietnamese kicked out the French AND the Americans in 1975, the entire country fell under “Communist” rule. There was a lot of chaos and poverty. Many people wanted to get out but it was illegal to leave the country. So people secretly escaped by boat; hence, refugee. If you were caught trying to escape, you were immediately imprisoned. When my pops made his run, he left only a letter behind for my grandma. He didn’t tell anybody–not even his family because it endangered him to get caught.

My mom was a seaside girl from the South–she was from a small, fishing village where all the men went off to sea for months at a time and the women stayed back and hustled a modest living in anticipation to see how much fish would be brought home. They lived in shacks made from scraps of metal and wood, some on stilts because the tide would rise and so people had to travel by boat to go from home to home. My mom was the youngest of 5 kids, and the only one to escape Vietnam by boat. The boat fare was 1 ounce of gold.

My mom and pops were just teenagers when they said “FIGHT THE POWER!” and escaped Vietnam. We got the revolutionary-life-on-the-line-fight-for-what-you-believe spirit in our blood.

To fast forward to the good part, both my parents coincidentally ended up in East Boston via a Refugee Relief program. They lived in the same housing complex with other refugee homies. My mom was a Pretty Young Thing and all the girls had a crush on my dad. No surprise, my pops had his eyes on my mom, and tried stepping to her but immediately my mom was like, “I don’t date men from the Communist Country!” This was nothing to deter my dad. He insisted, “Just because my government is like that doesn’t mean I’M like that…” (Sound familiar, Americans?) My pops persisted with the mackdown and continued to woo my mom until next thing you know, my older sister was born, and then I WAS BORN! It was a brave, forbidden love for it’s time. But like Che Guevara and many revolutionaries will tell you, at the core of any revolution, is love.

And that’s how I was born. Now let’s start the show.

It’s cool to find artwork in every countries around the world supporting Vietnam (China, Cuba, Angola, Russia, Philippines, Cambodia, etc.). This is just a snippet:

Cuba supports Vietnam: “For a Vietnam 10 times more beautiful.”

“The People of Viet Nam will win! The American Imperialist will lose!”

Friends today and back in the day

Read about how the Black Panther Party and Ho Chi Minh became homies! Click the image for full story:

I had the honor of meeting Muhammad Ali when I was in the fourth grade!! This man laid the WWF truth on the world. And I’m not talking about wrestling. I’m talking about the SMACKDOWN!!!